Dating a narcissist is hard work, it’s uncomfortable, it’s dangerous. Both for your mental health and well being.

Unfortunately, narcissistic people are focused solo on making themselves happy. The relationship is doomed from the beginning.

Narcissistic people are usually very insecure people on the inside but you would never guess it as they don’t tend to show it. I dated a narcissist for three years. He was proud and confident on the outside. He was charismatic to a friend to everyone. Yet I was onto his dirty secret and could see through his show he put on.

Wondering how to know whether you are in a relationship with a narcissist? They…

• don’t like to be corrected or feel like they are wrong

• can not see things from a different perspective

• put ideas into your head to say what you know to be true is not so ‘you must be crazy’

• use your weaknesses against you

• use emotional abuse so you become damaged goods and stay with them forever

• will shower you with gifts and compliments

• will keep you all to yourself and discourage you to see family and friends

• only talk about themselves and rarely ask you questions about yourself

• have a sense of entitlement and are rude to people in service such as waiters

• critical of others

• have no or few friends

• are often late to dates or pickups or may back out at the last minute

• make excuses

• have a deceptive nature. You realise you can not trust them

I did my research. I kept my notes. I knew it wasn’t acceptable. I knew I didn’t have to put up with it. But most importantly I knew that there would be someone else out there that would love me and treat me like I deserved.

It was one of the most difficult yet best things I have done getting out of that relationship. I have never felt lighter in my life. It was such a heartbreaking experience yet really forced me to draw on my inner strength and I couldn’t be prouder of myself.

Have you been around narcissistic people or dated one? What were the red flags that made it clear you needed to get out quick? We would love it if you joined the conversation and left a comment below.